Written by David Madsen, Principal of Madsen Law – Family Law Specialist with over 25 years of experience
Supervised visits can be a valuable opportunity to re-establish connection with your child. For some this environment is strange and intrusive, It can sometimes seem like the staff are unnecessarily unhelpful or even hostile. This can make the experience very trying. Here are some helpful hints to make the experience for you and your child positive.
1. Follow the schedule set up for your visit.
Cancel only if doing so is absolutely unavoidable. Routine is essential for your child, and sticking to the plan helps build trust and stability.
2. Be sure to arrive on time.
Punctuality shows your child that their time with you matters and that they are a priority. It also helps immensely to reduce stress and conflict.
3. Spend time focusing on your child.
This is their special time with you. Give them your full attention.
4. Clear your mind of distractions.
Put aside any agitation or stress, and focus on offering your child positive attention.
5. Come prepared.
Plan ahead with toys, books, or games your child enjoys. Check ahead to ensure the items are allowed and appropriate.
6. Have a general plan but stay flexible.
Structure is good, but allow your child to lead sometimes and be responsive to their needs and interests.
7. Talk openly with your child.
Share parts of your daily life and ask about theirs, just like you would if you were living together.
8. Show genuine interest.
Ask about their hobbies, school, and activities – but don’t interrogate or question them about the other parent’s home.
9. Be trustworthy.
Only make promises you know you can keep. Keeping your word helps build your child’s confidence in you.
10. Avoid sensitive topics.
Don’t discuss the separation, the other parent, or any court-related issues.
11. Keep the visit positive and light.
This is your time to bond, reconnect, and have fun together.
12. Speak kindly about the other parent.
Only make positive or neutral remarks. Negative comments place children in difficult emotional position (i.e. torn loyalties) and can cause lasting harm.
13. Reassure your child.
Let them know they are loved and accepted by you, unconditionally.
14. Relax and enjoy the moment.
If you are at ease, your child will feel safer and more comfortable too.
At Madsen Law, we understand how delicate supervised visits can be and how important they are in nurturing the parent-child relationship. If you need legal advice or support in setting up or managing supervised contact, our family law team is here to help.
