GETTING THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOMES
This guide provides practical advice and best-practice guidelines for fathers navigating parenting
disputes. It addresses common challenges and offers strategies for achieving the best possible
outcomes — for both fathers and their children.
Many fathers going through the family law system report feeling like they’re constantly on the backfoot – as though they’re being judged before they’ve even had a chance to speak. It can often seem like dads are seen as the problem, not part of the solution. While the system is designed to prioritise the best interests of the child, the experience for many fathers tells a different story – one that feels frustrating, disheartening, and at times, deeply unfair.
That’s why we’ve created this guide: to help fathers navigate the process with clarity, confidence,
and a sense of support. You’re not alone – and there are steps you can take to be heard and understood and wisdom to be gained from our perspective.
Your children’s wellbeing is always the Court’s primary concern. To succeed in the Family Law system, it’s important to approach disputes in a way that shows maturity, responsibility, and a commitment to co-parenting.
The information in this guide is general in nature and does not constitute legal advice. Always seek advice from a qualified family lawyer.
Key Areas That Influence Outcomes
The Family Court assesses many factors, but your outcome is significantly improved by:
- Demonstrating respectful and constructive communication with the other parent.
- Demonstrating your capacity to parent
- Demonstrating you are not a risk or if there is a risk that it is minimal.
- Minimizing or addressing any risks to the children’s safety.
- Being a pro-active parent rather than reactive
- Putting the best interests of your child or children ahead of your own.
Problem Areas for Men
Many fathers encounter similar hurdles during parenting disputes. Understanding these potential pitfalls is the first step towards overcoming them:
- Poor communication: Conflict often worsens when communication breaks down. Improving this area can have a major impact.
- Focusing solely on 50/50 time: Equal time isn’t always in the best interests of the children. Focus on the quality of your parenting, not just quantity.
- Rights-based arguments: Avoid framing your position as “your rights” as a father. Courts focus on children’s needs — and so should you.
- Avoiding contact centres: If supervised time is required, avoiding it can reflect poorly. Engaging with it shows commitment and maturity.
- Minimising issues: If you have concerning behaviour in your history (e.g., substance use, anger issues), addressing it early shows accountability.
- Blaming the system: While frustrations with the legal system are understandable, staying constructive is essential.
- Lack of accountability: Courts value parents who take responsibility and are willing to change.
Communicating with the Mother
Here are some best practice tips for effective communication which can significantly reduce conflict:
- Use a respectful tone: Even when disagreeing, maintain a calm and courteous demeanour.
- Active listening: Pay attention to what the mother is saying and try to understand her perspective.
- Focus on the children: Centre your communication around your children’s needs and wellbeing.
- Be clear and concise: Avoid ambiguity and state your points clearly.
- Use ‘I’ statements: Express your feelings and needs without blaming the other person (e.g., ‘I feel concerned when…’ instead of ‘You always…’).
- Choose the right medium: Consider using email or a co-parenting app to document communication.
- Avoid accusatory language: Refrain from using language that is judgmental or blaming.
- Set boundaries: Be clear about what you are and are not willing to discuss.
- Seek mediation: A neutral third party can help facilitate constructive communication.
- Document everything: Keep a record of all communication in case it’s needed in court.
- Be the bigger person: If you are being antagonized or abused, then cease communication and consult your lawyer or solicitor. Don’t react badly or behave badly.
Building Your Dad Resume
Your actions should reflect your commitment to being a responsible, safe, and engaged parent and not just in response to court orders. Take initiative early.
Ways to strengthen your position:
- Enrol in parenting programs such as:
- Triple P – Positive Parenting Program
- Parenting After Separation
- Circle of Security
- Men’s Behaviour Change Programs
- Seek mental health support if needed. A Mental Health Treatment Plan through your GP allows access to counselling — and also shows the Court you’re addressing concerns responsibly.
- Build a solid support network: friends, family, community support groups, counsellors.
- Be actively involved in your children’s schooling, medical needs, and activities.
- Show consistency — not just compliance.
Dealing with Allegations
If allegations have been made, even if you deny them, the Court must treat them seriously under Section 60CC of the Family Law Act. Your response is critical.
Best practice responses:
- Be truthful in affidavits. Denials that are later disproven will damage your credibility. This may cost you your case.
- If you’ve used drugs, stop immediately and take steps to address it (e.g., submit to a voluntary drug test).
- Engage proactively with services or interventions (counselling, rehab, parenting support).
- Seek legal advice immediately.
Credibility is everything. The Court does not expect perfection — it expects honesty, insight, and a willingness to improve.
Why Completing Supervised Time at a Contact Centre Is Good for Your Case
Supervised contact isn’t always ideal but it can be a critical stepping stone in rebuilding trust and connection with your children.
Benefits of supervised time:
- Demonstrates you’re willing to maintain contact, even if it has to be under supervision.
- Reassures the other parent and the Court that your children are safe.
- Provides a neutral, structured, and safe environment to rebuild your relationship, which is especially important if you haven’t seen the children in a long time.
- Supervisors take notes, which may support your case later.
- You are showing you are putting the Childs interest above your own.
- It’s often the start, not the end, of a gradual return to regular parenting time.
Quality of Time is More Important Than Quantity
While many fathers seek 50/50 time, it’s not always realistic or appropriate at the current stage of your matter.
Focus instead on:
- Building safe, positive, and loving experiences with your children is more important and valuable than conflict with your ex.
- Being emotionally present and engaged (not distracted or disengaged).
- Planning age-appropriate and enjoyable activities.
- Giving your children space to miss you and look forward to time together.
Equal time might come in the future, however, meaningful time matters more in the eyes of the Court and in your children’s hearts.
Final Thoughts
Navigating a parenting dispute is complex, but you don’t have to go through it alone. These aren’t just legal strategies that have proven themselves to work time and time again. They are parenting principles that build long-term trust, connection, and positive outcomes for you and your children.
If you’re facing a parenting dispute, contact our experienced family law team today for clear advice, strong representation, and support focused on achieving the best outcome for you and your children.
