While waiting to be heard on a matter at a pre-trial event in the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia, the Judge presiding made some insightful comments to a self-represented father, who insisted he was just after orders that were fair. His Honour made this observation “I understand your position. But you are confusing what is in the best interest of your child with what is fair for you. A 50/50-time rotation is not in the best interest of your child. That is what is fair for you.”
This statement highlights a crucial point for dads navigating parenting arrangements: You need to prioritize your child’s well-being above all else. This prompted us to write a short article to hopefully help Dad’s avoid mistakes we see in the court system.
Here are the TOP 5 mistakes dads often make during negotiations:
Be mindful about conflating what is ‘fair’ or ‘just’ in terms of your child’s time between both parents, with what is best for your child. What is ‘fair’ or ‘just’ for Dad may not always be in the best interests of the children:
Fairness is the wrong test. Consider factors like your child’s age, school schedule, family, existing routines, travel time, before and after school care routines, pick up and drop off times, homework, sports, meal and bedtimes when creating or proposing a parenting plan. Each family is unique. You are not trying to be the same as everyone else, but find what works best for your family.
Social science research and caselaw do not support overnight stays away from the primary carer for children under 2 years of age:
The social science has identified that children have a primary attachment figure- generally the mother. In Barreto & Vogel [2013] FCCA 550, it was stated by the judge “It seems to me that social scientists appear to be united in their view that a very young child needs a stable base in order to form proper attachments and feel secure. In general, that is best facilitated by ensuring that the child lives predominantly with the person to whom he or she is primarily attached.”.
Time arrangements should be age appropriate and adapt to the developing child.
Childhood is divided into three stages: early childhood, middle childhood, and late childhood (preadolescence). Early childhood is typically from infancy to six years of age. Young children may not feel safe or comfortable being away from mum for more than 2 days at a time. It really does take some effort to establish suitable, consistent pleasant bed time routines. However, this will likely change as the child grows and develops.
Poor communication:
Clear communication with the other parent is vital for successful co-parenting. Discuss important decisions regarding the child’s health, education, and extracurricular activities. A lack of polite communication between parents always spills over to create confusion and instability for the child. Stay focused. Put your proposals clearly and simply. If you get push back remember to ask “So what is your proposal?”
Not seeking legal guidance:
Madsen Law solicitors are highly skilled and capable negotiators and can help you reach an agreement with the other parent that is in the best interest of the child. Importantly, any agreement reached must be workable, flexible, practical and adaptable. Our solicitors have extensive experience in this field and can help guide you through the pitfalls and complexities of parenting agreements.
Remember dads, Negotiating parenting arrangements is about creating a stable and nurturing environment for your child. Prioritize clear communication, flexibility, and, above all, your child’s well-being.
If you’re a father in Logan facing parenting arrangement decisions, contact our experienced family law team at Madsen Law today. We can help you navigate the process and secure an agreement that prioritizes your child’s best interests.
